Confessions of a Desperate Lover
by RosesAndLilies
Summary: A shory oneshot fron Ginny's point of view, expressing her true feelings about the one she loves. Unfinished, but will be updated soon


**Confessions of A Desperate Lover**

When did I start to love him? Was it when I first met him, at my house, while I was looking for my jumper? Was it when he saved me from the Chamber of Secrets; from my life being sucked away by the memory of Tom Riddle? Whenever it was, I now know that I am truely in love with Harry Potter.

He has been the man of my dreams for as long as I can remember. His unruly black hair, his mystifying green eyes, his unforgotten scar, given to him by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, all look perfect to me. His bravery, his strength, his need to fight for what is right, his love to help those in need all draw me to love him even more.

Harry has been in my life ever since my first year at Hogwarts. He always seemed to have a sort of brother-sister love for me, not true relationship feelings. I obsessed over him for years, blushing every time he talked to me, dropping something everytime I saw him enter the room. I was a love-struck teenage girl, hoping he felt the same way.

I waited for years, hoping he would ask me out, ask me to be his girlfriend. My hopes were highest around the time of the Triwizard Tournament and the Yule Ball. Would he ask me to the ball? Of course not. I had to accept Neville Longbottom, seeing that Harry was never going to ask me. When he finally did ask me, desperate for someone to go with him, it was too late. He ended up going with one of the Patil twins, and I was stuck with Neville. Just my luck.

Hermione keep telling me to forget about Harry, to start seeing other people. I tried to calm down around him a little bit, which helped a bit, I guess. D.A. meeting were always fun, he would smile at me when I succeded in difficult spells, such at the Patronuse Charm. I was heartbroken when I found out he asked out Cho Chang, the darkhaired Ravenclaw girl.

After a few dates though, Harry and Cho kind of fell apart. Secretly thrilled, I pushed my hopes up once more, doing anything to be with him. I would hang out with the 'Golden Trio', a.k.a. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, all the time. Hermione finally caught on, and told me to go back to being myself, to go out with someone to get my mind off 'the Boy Who Lived.' I reluctantly agreed, and started going out with different people from my year. All of the boys I dated in fourth year were jerks, so I dumped them after a while, opening my heart for the one I truely loved. Harry Potter.

Well, Dean Thomas was pretty decent. He, I think, was the boyfriend I kept the longest. From the end of fourth year to some time in fifth, but he was not the one I loved. When I finally dumped him, I once again had an open heart, ready for Harry to claim. I wanted to feel his lips against mine, not anyone else's. Hermione's advice hadn't really help me. Everytime I dated someone new, I thought of how much I wanted to be with Harry even more.

Then finally, my chance came. I was in my fifth year, he was in his sixth, and there was a huge quidditch match. Professor Snape just had to give Harry detenion on this day, so I had to fill in as Seeker. Throughout the game, I played the best I possibly could, all for Harry's sake. He had wanted to win that game, so I won it for him. Later, after the game and his punishment were over, there was a huge party hosted in the commonroom. I was so happy that I, without thinking, ran and gave him a hug when he walked him the room, my redhead against his chest.

Looking up, I saw the delighted look on his face. And then, it happened. Harry Potter, the one I had loved for so long, kissed me. He actually kissed me, right there in the commonroom, in front of everyone. My heart soared, racing with happiness. This was the moment I had been waiting for for so long, and it was perfect. After breaking away from his embrace, though still hugging him, my amber eyes didn't leave his face. His green eyes turned to look at my brother, Ron, though, to see if he was fuming that he had kissed me, his best friend' little sister. Ron luckily said nothing and was smiling, so Harry kissed me again. This one was even more perfect. His expression seemed to be asking me if I would go out with him, and I knew mine totally agreed.

After that perfect night, we dated for the rest of the year. I was always there for him, and he was there for me. My O.W.L.'s limited our time together, but we spent every minute of free time we had with each other. He was perfect. Tall, funny, smart, cute, nice, athletic. What girl wouldn't love him?

One night, towards the end of the year, Professor Dumbledore called Harry to his office. We had been talking, but the headmaster said it was important, so Harry had to go. After about half an hour, he came back, out of breath and rushing to ger his Invisablity Cloak. I was slightly annoyed that he ran out like that, after saying something to Ron and Hermione. He didn't even say bye to me. Instead of asking them where he went, I sat on the couch by the fire, pouting about my boyfriend.

It seemed like hours had passed by the time I gave up on pouting, though it had only been a few minutes. I reluctantly asked Ron and Hermione what was going on, and once they told me, I snapped right out of my unhappiness. Harry had said what? That Death Eaters were going to try to break into Hogwarts? This seemed so unreal, but I was frightened anyway. I quickly accepted the luck potion Hermione handed me, wishing Harry had taken it with him though. He would probably need it more than me, where ever he was. Silently praying that he would be okay, I headed downstairs with the other faithful members of the old Dumbledore's Army, waiting for the attack.

The hours flew by, but nothing happened. I was stationed in front of Snape's office, just in case he were to go help the Death Eaters. I found this job pointless though. If he was to come out, he would just hex us and run away to join the battle. Oh well, there was nothing I could do now except sit and wait.

When it felt like nothing was ever going to happen, Professor Flitwick flew down the hallway towards Snape's office. I hoped that maybe the Death Eaters hadn't come, that Professor Dumbledore and Harry were back. Please let everything be okay, please let Harry be back, safe and sound. Unfortunatly, my prayers weren't answered. Snape rushed out of his office; Flitwick lay unconcious on the floor. We, of course, let Snape pass and hurried to make sure the other Professor was okay. What a great idea that was...not.

Hermione and I made sure he was okay before rushing upstairs after Snape. If he was going to join the fight, I wanted to be there as well. And if Harry was back, I wanted to be with him. I wanted to be with my perfect boyfriend, who cared so much for me. He had given me his liquid luck, even though he was probably in more danger than I was. He truely did care about me, just as I cared about him.

Upon reaching the Entrance Hall of the school, it was obvious to me that the battle has already begun. Darkness permeated the room, creaping everywhere. The only light seen was that of spells being cast, red and green, gold and silver, sparks flying everywhere. Suddenly, as a green stream of light flew past, narrowly missing me, I realized just how much danger we were all in. I wished with all my heart that Harry was safe, where ever he was.

The battle seemed to last forever, even though not very many people were involved. Finally, after being nearly hexed so many times, it was over. The Death Eaters were gone, and Harry was safe. But something was wrong. Someone was gone forever. Albus Dumbledore was dead.

When I heard this horrible news, I was sad, but nowhere near as devestated as Harry. He had seen what had happened, he had witnessed the whole thing. I tried my best to comfort him, I tried to make him realize that it wasn't his fault. Those couple of days before the much-loved professor's funeral were the last I would spend with Harry as his girlfriend.

After the funeral had happened, and Albus Dumbledore had been incased in his marble tomb, Harry took me aside to talk. I will never forget that day. I will never forget the words he used as he tried to gently break up with me. It didn't work though. I was devestated, even though what he said made perfect sense. He was breaking up with me because he loved me, because he didn't want me to get hurt. I assure you though, right then and there, he hurt me more than Voldemort or any Death Eater ever could.

**Okay, this is my first fan-fic here, so please, please, PLEASE Read&Review for me.**

**Luv ya lots,**

**Roses**


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